i hate me

i hate myself!i've been living in misery.i want to waste my life...oh wait..it's wasted already..i just hate the way things are going..fuck my parents.I HATE THEM.I HATE MY LIFE!it's like i want to commit suicide already.but i don't cause i have this fear of death.haha.i want to escape in this small hollow 4-cornered room of mine and spend my lifetime away.i've been crying my heart out this past week.my parents hate me..how's that for a family.the only ones i can trust are my friends...and the term's gonna end soon so i won't see them..fuck.i feel like a real-life Harry Potter right now.just without the magic and the heroic popularity.i can't take it anymore.why does it have to be me...why do i have to feel this suffering..God forgive me for all the bad things i have done..

i want to switch families with anyone who can love me.treat me with TLC and spoil me.haha.

i want to start smoking.or just drinking...yeah...drinking will do..

i won't have a merry christmas and a happy new year...heck,i won't even have a happy birthday.

FUCK THEM ALL