Earlier,the television was on and it was tuned into ETC. The final episode of Friday Night lights season 3(?) was being shown and I wasn't really tuned in. But Tyra's speech/college application letter kept me glued.Even though I watched it already,I still like to hear it again.I think it's one of my favorites actually.

Here's the letter:

Two years ago, I was afraid of wanting anything. I figured wanting would lead to trying, and trying would lead to failure. But now I find I can't stop wanting. I wanna fly somewhere in first class. I wanna travel to Europe on a business trip. I wanna get invited to the White House. I wanna learn about the world. I wanna surprise myself. I wanna be important. I wanna be the best person I can be. I wanna define myself instead of having others define me. I wanna win and have people be happy for me. I wanna lose and get over it. I wanna not be afraid of the unknown. I wanna grow up to be generous and big hearted, the way that people have been with me. I want an interesting and surprising life. It's not that I think I'm gonna get all these things. I just want the possibility of getting them. College represents this possibility. The possibility that things are gonna change. I can't wait.

This letter touches me. I wanted so many things in my life,especially before entering college.I thought that college was going to change me in a big way. But it turned out that I could not keep up and that change was just a mere false hope.I didn't really get what I wanted.I guess I got so overwhelmed by college that instead of it letting it make my life surprising,it just made mine hard for myself.

Truth is, I felt totally unprepared for college.I guess everyone is.But in my case,I never really thought ahead of what's going to happen to me in the future.I just went with the flow and I have no actual plans of the future and I'm really scared.I don't even know if my life is on track.You know how people say what they want to be when they were a child?Some would like to be a doctor,a police,a teacher,etc. until they grow up and they wanted to be something else like a magazine editor,some corporate manager and all those wonderful jobs?well,in my case,I don't really know what I wanted to be in the first place. I never thought of myself in some kind of attire and doing service for others.I like to help people but in some other and informal way. I don't see myself in a stable kind of occupation.

Lately,I've been thinking of traveling in different places around the world.I think I might even follow my parents' footsteps just so I could ride an airplane (Yes,I love flying!).I love my course,but now I'm not sure if I can handle it.Just trying to pour out the creative juices on my mind is already hard for me.I just wanna get out of college and get this over with.

College does represent possibilities.But I guess for me,it's what happens after college.