2/2/13

As mentioned in my previous post, I got accepted in a new company and had an orientation the other day. I have no starting date yet and there's still time for me to back out if I want to but I don't want that to happen, not now.

While I do feel good that I finally have a job, I still have some apprehensions about it and it scares me that I may fail yet again on this new journey and what's terrifying me is that it;s not the job that will prevent me from being successful here but it's my own fears.

After experiencing a fairly tough job at a printing/advertising agency last 2011, I have since struggled to find another full-time office-based job and even found myself stuck at home trying to get employed. I got myself an online web content writing gig that allows me to work on my own terms in terms of schedule and workload but that didn't really allow me to experience a normal job and did not compensate as much as a normal job so that was left stagnant for a while aside from being a filler on my resume and a disguise to my timid ways.

This new job will force me to adopt to new schedules and drop my lifestyle and maybe vices if you call it. My vices are not necessarily smoking,drugs or what the usual society dictates and labels as vices.

-Sleeping habits. These past few months, I've been sleeping really late. I sometimes even sleep right when our helpers wake up to get my younger siblings get prepared for school the next day.  I think that it's just my mechanism to excuse myself to be active the following day because I anticipate another unproductive day of being unemployed. It's the reason why I need to change that not just because I need to wake up early for my new job but I feel my health is getting affected too. My eyebags are getting puffier and my skin is breaking out. It's also not good for my bodybuilding since I need my body to have a lot of rest and working out when I'm tired is not good as I feel groggy at the gym.

-Media. If there's one major proponent that's taking my time, it's all the TV shows and movies I watch and my usage of the internet. I have been following a bunch of TV shows since I was young, even around high school and it grew in college and even after that. I have tried to keep it down lately but I can't just drop a show that I've invested my time weekly especially since streaming has made it easier for me to follow these shows. The only solution I can think of right now is watch 1 show every weekday and just catch up the remaining shows on weekends. I could also just wait until TV season ends and buy DVDs of the entire season of these shows like I usually did before in my college days. I don't want to fully abandon watching TV shows since it's entertaining, I learn something new, it can show aspects of life that I can relate to and it can be relaxing too. I think it's better than partying every night or spending too much money on shopping. Of course, it's also gonna be taking time away for me to watch concerts but I have been blessed these past few years to watch a lot of them so I should just be thankful I got those opportunity to go to them.

-Work-life balance. This is a major problem for me, now that I've talked about how my time for watching shows is affected, I guess my entire time for myself is greatly affected. Spending at least 9 hours for work for five days a week and it's not even limited to that. During my orientation, I saw the employees' log sheet which has the time in/out and I saw most of them are having overtime everyday! I'm not sure if I can handle that on a long-term basis but I do hope I can accomplish my tasks on time. I'm also worried about having most of my entire day stuck in the small office. Not that I don't like working in small spaces but the fact that everyone can see my every move and we're all congested in one are with no partition at all could affect my work habit.

-Gym. I plan to continue working out especially since I don't want to waste the money that my mom is paying for. Working out is also a stress-reliever and I hope that my work won't take much of my time and will let me have enough time to spend some time st the gym.

-Work location. Though the office is just in Makati, right where I want to work, it's still in the far end of Ayala ave. and I would have to walk there all the way to and from Greenbelt since I don't want to take another trip with the jeepney and save some money and also use the walk as my exercise to compensate for my cardio workout. I really hope that my trip will be safe especially at night and it's gonna take most of my time everyday.

-Compensation. The pay is not as high as some other companies may offer but it is higher than the salary I have from my 2 previous companies. The good thing here is that overtime will be compensated and it can still increase in the future though the details of that haven't been discussed yet.

There are possibly more problems that I see myself facing with but that will be reserved for the future. However, I still see a good outcome from this job.

-It is something new. I can learn a lot from this industry and I can even enhance my skills to prepare myself for a better job in the future, not that I'm already thinking of another job but I'm just preparing myself for disappointment. I know this mindset should be changed but I have to be realistic.

-I have something nice to share. I don't want to be arrogant especially since this is not exactly a prestigious or high-paying job but at least I can say that I have something to do in my life that other people may find some worth. My relatives always ask me about where I work and I'm lad that I have something to answer this time around. Though I may not get to see them as much this time since I'll be pre-occupied for work but then again, I've always told myself mentally to have a period of hibernation and get used to being alone and independent from my loved ones. I don't even see them a lot on a daily basis but I'm still stuck in some mentality that I need a lot for them but I need to put myself apart and take some time for myself first.

-It's gonna provide me an opportunity to mature and learn how to handle clients effectively. I've had experience of handling clients in my previous job but I did not handle them solely without supervision and while I'm still supervised on this new job, they're already going to give me an account to handle on my own.

Overall, I'm just worried for my work-life balance and I hope I can adapt to a new lifestyle smoothly ASAP.

I think this entry is quite long enough so I'll post some extra thoughts in the future.