The thing is, I did not get regularized (yet!) and they extended my probationary status for another 3 months which is good in a way as opposed to being terminated immediately. Their main reasoning was mostly because I was losing clients.
They may have a point but here's what my issues are:
1. Some clients left because they did not pay. We had one outsourcing client who left because of that and how can they blame it on me. We had another outsourcing client who left but I can accept that it's my fault since I really struggled with that particular client. Now, I'm handling one more outsourcing client and I'm afraid of losing them since they are very meticulous with the rankings. They're not happy with just a top 10 or even top 5, they just want to be number 1. I can understand that and if I could, then I would put them but it's not in my control.
2. I have been working my ass off. All my fellow specialists know that I've been working for long hours and even at home which the company doesn't pay for but I keep on doing it just so I can fulfill all tasks. I've wasted so many hours of worrying when I could have used it to catch up on sleeping or do other things I want to do. I know they won't know that unless I tell them but the fact that I have finished a lot of tasks for my clients indicates that I dedicate a lot of time for them.
3. Communication. I'm naturally a shy person and I have clearly stated that to them upon hiring but I know that I have been showing improvement when it comes to socializing and my officemates have even said so. Not just because I've become noisier but I've been trying to engage myself with the people in the office. Just not with the authority figures in the office though because I have a natural awkward outlook on them but that doesn't mean I don't want to talk to them. I don't even understand how that became a big issue with my evaluation.
I could probably list down so many more but then I would be writing because I'm just pissed off. But it's for a reason.
Not only will it add spark to my resume since anything beyond probationary would be better, I will also get benefits like vacation leaves which is what I am really after since we might have a trip in December.
The next week will ultimately be a heavy one and I don't know where things will go from here.
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