9/28/13

Had a great time last night! We had another drinking session last night in Central bar in Makati to celebrate Jed and Sam's recent birthdays.

As usual, I got so drunk and red. The most embarrassing moment I had was when I threw up on the floor! The sad thing is that it was my second time. The good thing is that we were sitting on the tables on the side so I wasn't sure if people saw it but then again it didn't really matter since the fun didn't stop there.

We had such a good time laughing and chatting and I'm glad that I remember what happened.

I spent most of this day on the bed catching up on series premieres of my fave shows as well as preparing myself to work later and try to finish articles for next week.

Monday's going to be a tough one!

9/26/13

Funny how being appointed as a leader can change you as a person.It can make you reveal your true colors whether it's intentional or not.Me and some of my colleagues noticed this with one of our newly-assigned team leaders and as much as I don't want to judge, the change can be seen upfront. I'm just trying to lay low from the person for now but I miss the old personality I liked before.

9/24/13

TV season is finally here! Most of the shows I watch are coming back in a few days and some has already returned.

Bones,New Girl and How I Met Your Mother have already started while shows like Glee are coming back this week. All of them are going to be exciting based on how their previous seasons ended.

While some have returned, some have already concluded. The most notable one is Dexter who has built a large fanbase during its 8-season run.It has grown to be one of my favorites as well and while the series finale received mixed reviews, I will always remember it as a great show.

It's just going to be a struggle this time as I have work and it's exhausting to watch all my shows after I arrive home.

I might have to stop watching some shows but I'll do my best to keep up with all of them since there isn't a lot on my TV list unlike before.

9/22/13 - Halcyon Days

UK popstar Ellie Goulding released an album last year called Halcyon which was a decent pop album. Several months after, she re-released the album with another cd filled with new tracks.

I like her but I cannot really say I listen to her entire discography a lot even with Halcyon, but with the new material, it was different. The new songs were amazing and I wouldn't skip any track.

Her vocals were good and any pop music fans will love it. The only problem I have with it is with the first single, Burn, which has very repetitive lyrics. It's not the first time though as her previous lead single, Anything Could Happen, is also very repetitive and she's just using the same formula again. Despite that, the song has reached no 1 on the UK charts and I have grown to love it anyway. I'm so glad for her that she's somehow getting recognition in the US after her smash hit Lights blew up the charts.

I can't wait to hear more from her as the album is filled with potential hits.

Top tracks: Goodness Gracious, Heart Without Chains, You My Everything

9/20/13

I'm glad I survived this week. 

At the start of the week, we were already expecting that things around the office will have a shake-up in the system after our boss thought that there was a problem with our process.

The solution was to come up with two teams that will finally separate the 2 major subcompanies apart. Though we're technically just one company, we are divided into 2 and one acts as an agency while the other one is strictly for outsourcing.

I was worried that I would be grouped into the agency team since I wanted to be with the other division. I was so relieved that I will be in the team I want under the supervision of one of my closest friends in the office. It's not because that means I'll take it easy but I'll be more motivated to work since I'm with the right people. It's also going to be a good challenge as we are undermanned in our team but I believe that we can do it.

Admittedly, part of the reason why I did not want to be on the other team is not only because of the tough tasks, but also because it is spearheaded by someone who came after me. I am not really jealous or mad because I'm not after a leadership position but it's just going to be awkward taking orders from the person. I probably wouldn't feel that way if I was regularized but I won't dwell on it since I am just happy with my team right now.

I'm just bummed right now as we were supposed to have a drinking session today but got cancelled.

9/19/13

My back is getting worse these past few days. I'm very worried knowing that I have a back problem that I've been ignoring. I'm starting to have difficulties in body movements as of late.

I think I should just refrain from going to the gym for now or at least minimize my number of visits per week.

9/18/13

Things may not be perfect right now but it's not exactly going in the wrong way. 

9/15/13

What a gloomy afternoon! I got soaked in the rain on the way home from church but that's alright. It felt good. I don't even remember doing it before. Though right now I feel like I'm going to have a fever and the coming week won't help. 

9/14/13 - The Other Side

Tonight Alive is a female-fronted band from Australia. I like their first album, What Are You So Scared Of? and it was good to hear that they're finally releasing their sophomore album this year called The Other Side.

Every time that band with a female vocalist arrives on scene, comparisons to more popular groups like Paramore and No Doubt always come up and even though I haven't heard of this band when they were starting up years ago, I'm sure those comparisons were present. But this post won't be about that.

The Other Side is another fantastic album from the band with no filter tracks at all. Before the album release, they released a non-album track called "Breakdown" featuring Joel Madden which was a good track and I'm a bit disappointed that it didn't make it to the album.

The album's 12 tracks is mostly upbeat but it felt more of a personal album as suggested by the lyrics and a more toned down melody on several songs. Accdg. to an interview, Jenna, the vocalist, the first track on the album, The Ocean, is all about her struggle with eczema. I didn't know about her condition before that but it's always amazing when artists can create something beautiful out of a negative experience in their lives.

One of my personal favorites is the album closer entitled You Don't Owe Me Anything which is an apologetic ballad that shows their honesty and bravery. 

This is their most mature album so far and I love their edginess on tracks like Say Please, No Different and Hell And Back.

It's an album that I would listen to over and over again from start to finish.

Top tracks: You Don't Owe Me Anything, Complexes and Come Home

9/13/13

Happy Friday the 13th! I don't think I should use happy but I don't know the right term right now.

It's official. Our work is now from 7am to 4pm. As much as I enjoy leaving the office early, I am still worried since I was late in the office for three times this week. I am just lucky that this is a trial period so they won't hold our tardiness this week against us. It's not that I leave the house late, it's just that the public transportation that is available leaves so late whether it's because of long lines or lack of them. No matter how early I wake up, it won't matter because of that.

I do feel happy that I get to the gym early and avoid waiting for an available locker. In fact, it feels like high school all over again. I just need to adjust my sleeping schedule.

9/12/13

What a long day! I arrived on time at the office this time and yet, I still feel like I haven't accomplished many things this day.

I've been doing 2 optimization files and I still haven't finished them. I'm trying to finish it by tomorrow but with a hundred more pages to go, I doubt I can finish half of it. I'm almost done with the first one but I still need to polish it.

But my tiring day has been paid off somehow. I've had an unofficial date with my officemate right after and we've had a very nice talk and felt more like it's about getting to know each other more even going as far as family talk. I don't think I've ever had someone who shared this kind of personal info shared with me and I value that a lot. I somehow felt obliged to do the same and shared to him a bit about my crazy family situation. Though it's not really something I attempt to keep a secret cause I wouldn't hide it if someone asks me, it's just not the type of issue I would throw out in the open and I think he deserves to know more about me after sharing very personal thoughts and experiences. He's been bugging me about trying not to hide behind my emotions and sharing secrets and I think that's either a sign or I'm just being too assuming as usual. But whatever, I'm glad we've had this rare moment today.

9/11/13

I'm just wondering. I keep on receiving mixed signals from someone I know. Though there isn't any kind of admission from him, he seems to be a different person when it comes to private conversations between us whether through text or chat or any forms of communication. I guess he is still wary of other people's perception and I won't blame him for that. I don't want to assume but he's been sending me signs that only certain people would do such as telling you that he's already near his house from a long travel or those kinds if things that you don't randomly tell unless you know the person really cares for you, and I actually do. I find this thing he has going on cute and I just wish he had the courage to step up and tell me the real deal because I don't want to end up with a huge disappointment later on.

9/10/13

There were some changes in the office regarding work hours. Our usual regular day starts at 9 am and ends at 6 pm, even though we don't really follow that because of overtime.

This change is done for costcutting reasons as well as to avoid rush hour in the mornings or evenings. It has its pros and cons and I have somehow experienced some of them during the 2 days that it has been implemented so far.

It's a good thing that this week is a trial period. At first I was hesitant but now I am 50/50 on it.

I'm against it because not only do I find it hard to wake up early, but also because I'll have to spend a higher cost on transportation since I won't be able to ride the shuttle service that I go to. I actually tried it today and I arrived 30 minutes late. That means I'll have to take the long, inconvenient and more expensive route which is the one I used to take and the one that caused me a lot of tardiness so that probably means I'll get kicked out soon.

The only good thing is I can leave early and do a lot more stuff. I'll also get to go to the gym and avoid a long period of waiting for an available locker just like before. But of course, I don't expect that to happen a lot since I tend to leave the office with my officemates. Speaking of them, this will also make it easier for us to go out and do things together even if that is not happening soon since our salaries have just been released and we already got the first taste of the cuts and deductions from our salaries.

I'm still not over my status but I'm trying my best to hide it.

9/8/13

I'm in a bit of a dilemma. It is not necessarily about work but it's about someone at work.

My officemate has been telling me his plans to go abroad a few months ago. Back then, those were just plans and I didn't think I would be so affected since we don't know each other so much yet and he didn't have his requirements yet.

As time passed by, we got closer and I consider him now as one of my closest friend and maybe even more than that even though that part seems to be non-mutual. But anyway, recently, he told me that he already has his passport already and he cannot wait to go. He just needs to fix certain documents and requirements and he's ready to go.

He has literally been talking to me about it privately through chat whether on skype, FB or anywhere. I am the only person who knows about it and I don't plan on breaking his trust and our friendship which I value very much.

He has been very aggressive about it and telling me how excited he is. I try to reciprocate by giving him my support but deep inside I am torn. I want him to be happy but I don't want to see him leave yet. He is actually one of the reason s why i am actually staying at work. If not for him, I would have probably been kicked out or have resigned months ago since the company seems to find ways to not have me on board. I can't help it though as he seems to be the only one whom I know I can depend on. It is also why I try to be there for him the same way he has been supporting me. 

I just need to put out a brave face and pretend that I support his decisions to leave.

I'm being selfish once again and I can't control it. He has valid reasons to leave, aside from financial problems, he is also getting too much stress from work and he is not getting compensated enough to satisfy his needs. He is the breadwinner of his family and he has to fulfill his duties and who am I to stop him from doing that.

It's too late to share to him my feelings but I''ll be glad to be just a part of his life and if this is what will make him happy, then I'll have to be contented with it.

9/7/13

Now that more than 24 hours have passed since the bad news, I'm still not over it.

The thing is, I did not get regularized (yet!) and they extended my probationary status for another 3 months which is good in a way as opposed to being terminated immediately. Their main reasoning was mostly because I was losing clients.

They may have a point but here's what my issues are:

1. Some clients left because they did not pay. We had one outsourcing client who left because of that and how can they blame it on me. We had another outsourcing client who left but I can accept that it's my fault since I really struggled with that particular client. Now, I'm handling one more outsourcing client and I'm afraid of losing them since they are very meticulous with the rankings. They're not happy with just a top 10 or even top 5, they just want to be number 1. I can understand that and if I could, then I would put them but it's not in my control.

2. I have been working my ass off. All my fellow specialists know that I've been working for long hours and even at home which the company doesn't pay for but I keep on doing it just so I can fulfill all tasks. I've wasted so many hours of worrying when I could have used it to catch up on sleeping or do other things I want to do. I know they won't know that unless I tell them but the fact that I have finished a lot of tasks for my clients indicates that I dedicate a lot of time for them.

3. Communication. I'm naturally a shy person and I have clearly stated that to them upon hiring but I know that I have been showing improvement when it comes to socializing and my officemates have even said so. Not just because I've become noisier but I've been trying to engage myself with the people in the office. Just not with the authority figures in the office though because I have a natural awkward outlook on them but that doesn't mean I don't want to talk to them. I don't even understand how that became a big issue with my evaluation.

I could probably list down so many more but then I would be writing because I'm just pissed off. But it's for a reason.

Not only will it add spark to my resume since anything beyond probationary would be better, I will also get benefits like vacation leaves which is what I am really after since we might have a trip in December.

The next week will ultimately be a heavy one and I don't know where things will go from here.

9/6/13

Such a terrible day to end this horrible week.

Just received one of the worst news I could receive while under the company. Though I am not terminated, I might as well be.

Some awful news about my status is surely going to haunt me for the coming months and I'm just trying to hold on for dear life.

I can't go into details but the main point is that I have not accomplished what I wanted to achieve even though I tried my best and I have limited time to do better. I don't want this to be my last hurrah.

They're also trying out a new work sched where our work hours will be moved earlier!That is certainly not beneficial to me and tardiness is already an issue I've had in the past.

9/4/13

What a very hectic week! I've been missing going to the gym these past few weeks because of work Just today, I did a task that required me to work on it for more than half a day and tomorrow, I'll be in a meeting with one of my clients...in the evening!It's gonna be my first late meeting. It's a good thing I managed to convince some of my colleagues to stay with me, even though that means I'll have to treat them for dinner afterwards...

9/3/13 - Ocean Avenue Acoustic

Yellowcard had their major breakthrough with their 2003 album, Ocean Avenue, featuring the hit singles Ocean Avenue and Only One and sold millions of copies. A decade later after many albums and singles sold, they are still active in the music scene and continue to make their fans happy with their music and making them one of the veterans in the pop-rock industry of today's generation.

To celebrate the tenth anniversary of the album, the band decided to re-release the album with an acoustic version with the same tracklist. It started out as a rumor but it was confirmed when they had a show here in Manila back in May.

They're one of my favorites and I was anticipating the release of this album as much as everyone else. Thought there were no new songs, they did not disappoint. Vocals were still on point and the songs still sound as if they were brand new. 

Some may wonder why they had to do this instead of releasing a new album instead, which they did last year, and I find a good answer to that. This album wasn't to show that they still have "it" which they do nor to show that they are better this time around but it's a chance for fans to re-imagine the album a whole lot more. Ten years have passed and many things have changed and you may have a different perspective on the songs by now.

Though they did not alter the music, it still felt magical this time around.

Top tracks: Empty Apartment, Ocean Avenue and Life Of A Salesman

9/1/13

It's the start of the Ber months once again and that means we're getting closer to Christmas! I can't believe how fast time flies. It's also going to be my seventh month in the company and I'm still not regularized. I don't know if it's because they're avoiding giving a salary increase or because I'm just not good enough. I'm thinking it's the latter which I wouldn't be surprised about but it would still be a big blow to my confidence.

But it's the start of a new month and I just want to make the rest of the year better.