Ever since watching One Tree Hill,this particular line has always struck me, and it has stayed with me for as much as I can remember. People Always Leave. This three words always haunts me. At first I thought I like it just because it seemed cool to like it. But as time passes by and as I grew up, I've experienced so much and I can't help but notice how true this line is and how much it applies to me and not just to the character on the TV show.
For one, Peyton, the character who popularized the line, haven't only lost her boyfriends but also her mother. Though I can't say that I lost mine, the situation in our family dynamics are pretty much the same with me being disconnected with one of my parents.
My strong bond with some of my cousins also disappeared when they migrated to other countries years ago. I couldn't really tell anyone how bad it felt and why I want to live in another country.
Over the years, I have never been so close with my family or relatives. I've somehow adjusted to the way of life and expected to lose them at some point.
In a matter of days, I'm about to lose another person I value a lot. I cannot stop him and I don't want to be selfish when he is chasing his dreams for the better. I want to think that it's also for my own good as I'm starting to think that he's subtly a distraction to my goals and reaching my own potential.But I just can't see anything good out of it that affects my personal gain, and not to mention how my confidence has now shrunk with all these people leaving.
I don't know why this happens all the time. I'm sure everyone has lost a loved one or broke a special connection with person they care about and I wish I knew how to cope up with it. It creates a ripple effect that always affects my future decisions in the process.
I've been drowning in depressing thoughts and sad songs these past few weeks and I can't help but think that there's something wrong with me.
I know I should not think that way but I value my friends a lot. I know I don't seem to show it because I don't really know how to express my feelings and affection but I really care and appreciate my friends. Losing anyone is just as hard as any heartbreak, if not more.
I have take so may sacrifices for the sake of others but I always get hurt in the end.
I don't want to make this recent departure from my life as a reason to stop putting my trust in people.
I'll just keep on reminding myself to be happy that these people, no matter how long or short I have got to know them, came into my life for a reason and will always be grateful for touching my life and making my life a little less lonely and putting a smile on my face.
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